Grown-up Men and Women, and Grown-up Children.

Men who are – Men, and women who are – Women

So few women are – Women. More and more are girls who have grown up and now have a woman’s body. Before, they earned love from their parents with marks, with obedience; they were not loved without conditions. And now they have grown up – and what a bonus – the girl has got a woman’s body!

“Rate my body,” they say to the ones they love, demanding everything that their parents gave when they were pleased with the children’s behaviour.

A man, after all, most likely stays relatively satisfied after sex, whereas a parent, in that arrangement, would reward, take pride and take care.

If the guy has not “ritually” appreciated the girl – with compliments, gestures, gifts – the woman-girl gets very upset, pouts, throws a tantrum, demanding to be put on the roll of honour and to be bought sweets. She has not yet learned to get pleasure from herself, from interaction with a man, from sex.

The more She demands, the less the Man delights her in himself.
She did not choose Him, she chose his suitability. This does not mean that a man should do nothing for a woman and she should expect nothing – no, here we are talking only about the priorities in her head: is He a joy to her, or is a joy to her That which comes from him?

What can we see here? We can see the process of consumption.

For a child, a parent is not a personality – but a QUALITY – it is rather a property.

A parent is the one who gives more warmth, security, food and other resources of joy and fullness than all the other adults. And we should not think that infant children love their parents personally or spiritually. If you give a baby a cut wound instead of the breast, it will suck blood without the slightest feeling of guilt. Children are, from the start, unspiritual. I understand – for some it hurts to hear this, but such is the truth of growing. And grown-ups who are children are likewise unspiritual, whatever their year of birth.

Spirituality – is the mark not of growing up on paper, but of real maturity, earned through suffering and experience.

A MAN may in himself not delight his chosen woman, since she does not SEE him, but chose Him for the number of qualities useful to her, and these qualities suit her. She uses his qualities and watches closely that HE repeats himself on these points again and again. This is what people call love: “I like how you do this, go on, repeat it again and again!”

Lovely, isn’t it? And this is not about development, this is ANTI-development. In such pleasing-and-buying relationships the man loses his PATH.

HE stumbles over the woman standing in his way and so hurts her. And she – the girl, now doubly dissatisfied – goes dim and stops shining on him.

For a girl, even during full-fledged sex, nature does not guarantee high pleasure – orgasm. And the likelihood of “conceiving”, from the happy possessor of her body, remains. That is why in many cultures it is customary to pay a bride price. An advance for the girl’s non-guaranteed pleasure from the wedding and for the prolonged maternal care after successful sex. Men-and-boys, if you look at the practical side of the matter, deliberately leaving romance out, want from beautiful women household services and a guarantee of sex. The boy has grown up – his needs have changed slightly and he wants a more suitable mum with an extended function – SEX.

That is exactly why in most couples marriage is a more or less successfully concluded business contract. One in which somehow it is stipulated (or not stipulated but implied) that each side is prepared to give something in return for the satisfaction of its needs.

And all this is not about Love!

A grown-up Woman chooses not a suitable man, but precisely – the BEST.

A Woman, unlike a GIRL, knows that she has grown up, and is glad she has grown up and “does up her own sandals” and can, and wants to, take optimal care of herself.

She knows that nobody owes her anything, and she owes nothing to anyone. She can give herself everything she needs, rather than wait for a man who will come and save her from the burdens of life and everyday routine. And that is exactly why she can choose, with the whole purity of an experiment, exactly that MAN who fills her heart with his meanings, not her household.

Then the MAN and HIS PATH become for her a sweet Gift, one that stands higher than all everyday things. The MAN, feeling how precious such a woman’s time and energy are, himself wants to thank her with action, precisely because it is a gift for him when an independent person accepts gifts from him. This bonus may or may not be there, because THE MAN’S VERY PATH ALREADY fills HER.

The PATH fills HIS and her life with deep MEANING. She respects HIS PATH, and a MAN WITH A PATH is experienced by her as very VALUABLE. Valuable – as a Human Being for the world.

People with a PATH are incredibly valuable and attractive to the opposite sex.

These are people on the path; unlike all the others, they are people in spirit, burning with the work of their lives. His best gift to her will be HIS following HIS PATH.

A WOMAN with an opened-up femininity is always in resource. Because her level of acceptance is so great that she gets resource from all feelings, from pain, from sadness, from anger.

She has no need to be “sweetie-sweet”, and it is very relaxing when you can always be honest. People are drawn to her. Other women will certainly love her, just as men will. With her everything is possible – and what else can magnetise us as strongly as FREEDOM?

It is precisely the ability to give freedom to everything and to say YES that makes her a partner for a MAN WITH A PATH.

A WOMAN will have no problems with orgasm; she knows and SEES herself and people, SHE accepts them – different as they are – without effort. And PEOPLE certainly do not strain Her. She will always find something to ADMIRE in any person.

She is a WOMAN in EDEN – and that is why her field holds so much energy.

Why is orgasm guaranteed for A WOMAN WITH AN OPENED-UP FEMININITY? Because she chooses with all of herself, chooses the man who has delighted her heart, and therefore, without any tricks, it all already happens for her, the way lightning happens when storm clouds draw close. There is a great, great deal of creative charge of resourceful energy there – not spilled on pointless entertainment and on people without a path.

These WOMEN do not choose men without a path, and that is their greatest flaw – they simply do not notice them.

And MEN with a PATH are usually not poor people – their value to this world is confirmed by the demand for their creative work. And so the union of GROWN-UP MEN AND WOMEN is a union of the successful and the happy. The remaining marriages are more or less about poor things who will not abandon each other in trouble – which is also, in its own way, heartfelt, dramatic and lovely.

HOWEVER, HAVING FELT THE DIFFERENCE, you very much do not want to go back to this “heartfelt-ness” – like someone born into a cold world going back into the warm, cramped womb.

After you have gained the ability to enjoy freedom of movement, attempts to recreate for an infant the conditions of the womb will provoke rebellion. THE WOMB – A PLACE where the arms and legs, made for movement, stayed idle – is no longer relevant.

Yet as it grows up, a child is ready to feel gratitude towards the mother who formed its body. So too OPENED-UP PEOPLE feel gratitude towards those who formed them and took part in their development.

Many of those to whom the gratitude of Opened-Up Men and Women is addressed do not even suspect what a valuable role they may have played in their lives, and how especially valuable the experience of pain and disappointment is on the way to a HUMAN BEING’S GROWING UP.

Natalia Valitskaya.