How to Free Yourself from the Past and Find the Joy of Life Again.

To enjoy life again.

A step-by-step guide:
Step 1.

**Finish grieving or finish being angry.**It is very important to allow yourself to fall to the bottom of your disappointment. To fall and die psychologically. Only that way can we be born anew.

Often what stops us from letting ourselves look at our pain, still less fall into it so as to exhaust that very pain, is our own resistance. Resistance and resentment. Resentment at yourself, at the other person, at the situation as a whole, and why mince words, sometimes resentment at the entire Universe. So often you can’t manage without a good psychologist or a wise friend, someone who can lead you to the bottom of your pain.

On the contrary: trying to get around the pain of disappointment and running away from psychological death leads to chronic “pain” and a chronic “zombie” state (lifeless apathy and deep sorrow and suppressed anger, which are printed like a ticker across the forehead of the one who avoids, which means he hasn’t run away from them anywhere)

You can’t get around pain, you can only go through it, and here, without support, it’s often “no way”

Step 2.

Spoil yourself with all sorts of simple things available in the moment: pretty things, treats (not to excess, but allowing yourself to miss them and then enjoy them) a bath, a massage, a sauna, dancing, presents.

Become the ideal man for yourself, or rather even a mother. A mother to yourself – the loving one, who allows everything the moment a desire arises, a mother who loves unconditionally, whom perhaps you never had.

Step 3.

Rehabilitate your abilities and talents. What I can do, what I know how to do, where I’m brilliant. What diploma, cake, borscht, skill, part of the body – are my trademark things (anything goes: make an inventory as a list and hang it in a prominent place, or look it over every day) – everything where I can shine.

Step 4.

**Revive the ability to be amazed, to admire.**And what is unique, beautiful and talented about each of my friends and acquaintances. Learn to look at the familiar as if for the first time, and to give back, with compliments, the joy and surprise that you manage to draw out inside a person – that is the reason for this. (at first, of course, this will be hard – it will take effort and fighting your way through the resistance of the cynical mind)

Step 5.

Anchoring your “Radiance”. Do something crazy – do what is frightening, any extreme will do, psychological and physical. There are masses of ideas – there is always a way to step outside the usual frame.

Natalia Valitskaya.