Impressions of a Shark from the Shadow Side

A Journey to the Realm of Shadows

… The events before this journey (or was it a seminar-mystery after all?) and during it seemed to take shape on their own, practically without my involvement. Lada Turia /Gripping Shark/

And first of all, the “command team” of hosts changed, and somehow a strange group of participants came together – from very different cities and very different times. There were “old hands who know it all”, and complete newcomers, and there were none of those who (in my opinion) absolutely should have come, and who seemed to be planning to, but… As usually happens – “parents-children-beloved dogs (or beloved dogs:))-work-money (which there isn’t any of for such events)”. In short, the explanations and excuses were perfectly familiar :), and it is clear that they are only excuses. And although the person declares, “Look how badly I live! And how I’d like everything to be better…”, still – if things are to change, why so fast? Maybe hold out a little longer – perhaps it will all sort itself out somehow. Without the “sufferer’s” involvement.

In short, everything turned out the way it was meant to. And, taking by the throat my Ego, hardened by all sorts of practices and trainings, and putting a rucksack on my back, I did end up in a Carpathian village with a very unmelodious name and staggeringly beautiful scenery.

I had already been in this place, at a similar seminar. And I had an idea of what would be in the programme. And – I was a little afraid: what if my Ego pulled some trick that would send me off again for an indefinite time into some harsh asceticism to subdue it??

But – everything went quite differently from what I feared :). From the moment we arrived at the cosy wooden house with a sauna, standing on the bank where two little Carpathian rivers meet, until the last print of my boot in the snow by the picturesque wooden fence around the yard of that house – it was pure improvisation. Although (as I know) no good improvisation is possible without a thorough command of the craft. And that was exactly what there was. That is why this mystery was such a joy – it was so UNLIKE trainings that are scripted and run in, technologically and technically correct, with the correct words, with masses of labels and exact following of instructions.

Those seven days were simply life in a high concentration of TRUTH. And thank God that the host, Natalia Valitskaya, had the courage and the experience to follow this truth and to cultivate it in every way in the people of our group.

As a result, a TRANSFIGURATION happened. For many (not for all, of course – people’s readiness for transfiguration differs). But, as they say, “the waves have started”.

It was interesting to watch people taking off their masks, under which some had yet more “disguises”, some had faces, some had Souls… Sometimes it was hard on the body, sometimes on the feelings, sometimes our brains boiled over at being unable to “digest” such a volume of information of such “density” and purity. And we slept only 4–5 hours, and didn’t even want to sleep… Because it was so interesting, and so heartfelt. And the food was extraordinary – without salt, with masses of spices, and we even tried raw-food cooking (it turned out unusual and very tasty).

It was funny – when we chose names for the Shadows. It was frightening – when we had to surrender to the mercy of our “masters” in one of the practices. It even hurt when we had to be sincere to 200 per cent – both with ourselves and in front of others. And all of it was very DEEP.

Each participant got as far as they could get at the present stage of life’s changes. The main thing – it was WITHOUT VIOLENCE and without demands of “Better! Higher! Faster!”. And as a result it turned out better than expected. And the Shadows were glad: there were many of them, and they changed from time to time – the same “owner” could have several turn up. And there was room and time for all of them.

There were also treks in the mountains, and a bathe in a mountain river with “rejuvenating water” – a sort of “baptism” into a new image. And a vision quest in the mountains, where you could learn to SEE, and not just look at the beauty while your thoughts are somewhere in a beer bar:). And the joy of bodily contact in an almost childlike practice, like the game of “pile-on”. And a shamanic journey, from which some brought back very significant gifts and hints. And dances, and meditations, and fights, and embraces, and tears, and voices – real ones, from the chest…

It was as if some invisible force had entered this house and settled in it for those seven days. And each one of our group took a part of it.

And I suspect that this force is called Love.

Because any action (however strange, frightening, wild or beautiful it may look) that has Love at its base – in the end leads to even more Love.

And that means – life is worth living. And – Light and Shadow somehow made peace, having understood this…

And for this understanding – thank you. To me, to Valitskaya, to the people in our group, to the Carpathians, to the spirits and to whoever-else-is-out-there who needs this gratitude.

Lada Turia /Gripping Shark/

Sveta Fenenko /Capricious Bichon/

The processes of integration are going on in their own time. I haven’t gone home to Mum, and I don’t want to until I feel that I have got used to this world again, and to the new me in it. My boyfriend accepts me with all my changes, OM.

The “Bichon” has woken up in me. She dragged me round the shops and gave my wardrobe a bit of a refresh. Down with the grey, boring schoolmarm!!!! It made me smile that in a jewellery shop I started explaining and showing how to wear them and where to pin all sorts of cutesy-frilly-bijou-bits.

Knowing myself as I was before, I would have been surprised and would have said that nothing like this had ever happened to me. I’m glad of the new experience. I’m learning to love and accept myself and my body.

Lada, dear, if it’s not too much trouble – please send me the recipe for that raw-food thing made of sesame. I really want to make it ))) And the borscht too )))))

I have put almost all the photos in the VKontakte album of the meeting.

See you soon!

Hugs! Sveta.