Seminar-Mystery “Me and the Shadow”

A Journey to the Kingdom of Shadows

… The events before this journey (or was it a seminar-mystery after all?) and during it came together somehow by themselves, almost without my taking part.

And first the “command lineup” of leaders changed, and somehow a strange group of participants formed – from very different cities and very different times. There were “old hands in the know”, and complete newcomers, and there were none of those who (in my opinion) absolutely should have come, and who seemed to be planning to, but… As usually happens – “parents-children-beloved dogs (or beloved dogsJ)-work-money (which there isn’t for such events)”. In short, the explanations and excuses are entirely familiar J, and it is clear that they are only excuses. And though the person declares, “Look how badly my life is going! And how I would love for everything to be for the better…”, yet – if you are going to change, why so fast? Perhaps hold out a little longer – maybe it will all sort itself out somehow. Without the “sufferer” taking part.

In short – everything fell out the way it was meant to. And, taking by the throat my Ego, hardened by all sorts of practices and trainings, and a rucksack on my back, I did find myself in a Carpathian village with a very unmelodious name and landscapes of staggering beauty.

I had already been in this place and at a similar seminar. And I had an idea of what would be in its programme. And – I was a little afraid: what if my Ego pulled some trick, so that I would again go off into some harsh asceticism for an indefinite time to subdue it??

But – everything went quite differently from what I feared J. From the moment of our arrival at the cosy wooden house with a banya, standing on the bank where two small Carpathian rivers meet, to the very last print of my boot in the snow by the picturesque wooden fence around the yard of this house – it was pure improvisation. Although (as I know) no good improvisation is possible without thorough mastery of the craft. And that was exactly what there was. And that is why this mystery was such a joy, because it was so UNlike the scripted and well-worn, technologically and technically correct trainings, with correct words, with masses of labels and exact following of instructions.

Those seven days were simply life in a high concentration of TRUTH. And thank God that the leader, Natalia Valitskaya, had the courage and the experience to follow this truth and to cultivate it in every way in the people in our group.

As a result a TRANSFIGURATION happened. For many (not for everyone, of course – people have different degrees of readiness for transfigurations). But, as they say, “the waves began”.

It was interesting to watch people take off their masks, under which some had one more “mask”, some had faces, some had Souls… Sometimes it was hard for the body, sometimes for the feelings, sometimes brains boiled over from being unable to “digest” such a volume of information of such “density” and purity. And we slept only 4–5 hours, and didn’t want to sleep anyway… Because it was so interesting, and so heartfelt. And the food was extraordinary – without salt, with masses of spices, and we even tried raw-food cooking (it turned out unusual and very tasty).

It was funny – when we chose names for the Shadows. It was frightening – when in one of the practices we had to surrender to the mercy of our “masters”. It was even painful when we had to be sincere to 200 per cent – both with ourselves and in front of others. And all of it was very DEEP.

Each of the participants went as far as they could go at the present stage of life’s changes. The main thing is – it was WITHOUT VIOLENCE and without demands of “Better! Higher! Faster!”. As a result it turned out, precisely, better than expected. And the Shadows were glad: there were many of them, and they kept changing – one and the same “owner” might have several turn up. And there was a place and time for all of them.

There were also hikes in the mountains, and bathing in a mountain river with “rejuvenating water” – a sort of “baptism” into a new image. And a search for visions in the mountains, where one could learn to SEE, and not just look at the beauty while being in thought somewhere in a beer barJ. And the joy of bodily contact in an almost childlike practice, like the game of “pile-up”. And a shamanic journey, from which some brought back quite significant gifts and hints. And dances, and meditations, and fights, and embraces, and tears, and voices – real ones, from the chest…

As if some invisible force had come into this house and settled in it for these seven days. And a part of it was taken by each person in our group.

And I suspect that this force’s name is – Love.

Because any action (however strange, terrifying, wild or beautiful it may look) that has Love at its root – in the end leads to still more Love.

And that means – life is worth living. And – Light and Shadow somehow made peace, having understood this…

And it is for this understanding that I say thank you. To me, to Valitskaya, to the people in our group, to the Carpathians, to the spirits and to whoever else out there needs this gratitude.

Lada Turiya /Grasping Shark/

Sveta Fenenko /Capricious Lapdog/

The processes of integration go on in their turn. I did not go home to Mum, and I do not want to until I feel that I have got used again to this world and to the new me in it. My guy accepts me with all my changes, OM.

The “Lapdog” has woken up in me. She dragged me round the shops and refreshed my wardrobe a little. Down with the grey bore of a schoolmistress!!!! It made me smile that in a costume-jewellery shop I began telling and showing people how to wear and where to pin all kinds of cutesy-frilly-trinkety things.

Knowing myself as I was before, I would have been surprised and said that I had never had anything like this happen to me. I am glad of the new experience. I am learning to love and accept myself and my body.

Lada, dear, if it’s not too much trouble – please send me the recipe for that raw-food sesame thing. I really want to make it ))) And the borscht too )))))

(095) 463-11-79 / (096) 33-77-199 / Skype: natavalitskaya