7 KINDS OF LOVE – find yours! 16 February in Kyiv.
Translated from Russian Read the original →
7 KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.
- Passion
- Intimacy 3. Commitment – they form a palette of Seven kinds of possible ties between people…
People do the same things for different reasons. And different things for the same reason. How do they manage it? They have an official and a hidden meaning to their actions.
Knowing your current request – “which kind of relationship is mine?” – helps you find exactly what you need and not suffer. To accept your truth, the official and the hidden meaning of a tie, is to win and get what you want – “divide and rule”.
Knowing the advantages and disadvantages of each kind of love helps you find what fits, in your size and just right. That is, we are looking not for the ideal relationship but for a suitable one.
You will be able to find out what suits you at the lecture. You will be able to test your version of the meanings by Constellating your situation in the SM model – Systemic Modelling.
From the start we enter a tie, an interaction with other people, out of different meanings. Happiness in a couple depends on the needs, not the goals, with which people go into a relationship, and on whether they know the real needs of their partner.
At the seminar we uncover the hidden meaning of what is happening.
Systemic Modelling sets up a person’s system and uncovers the basic mechanisms that formed it: revealing “why everything is the way it is” – the hidden, paradoxical meanings.
Once the meaning is uncovered, it stops being relevant and the system changes, being interested in new experience.
HOW DOES SYSTEMIC MODELLING DIFFER FROM HELLINGER CONSTELLATIONS?
- In SM the essence of the problem is revealed through the functions of emotions and the building of a paradoxical meaning. As soon as the meaning is made clear, the problem stops being relevant. A person’s basic settings are hard to change, but you can “learn to cook them” – to apply them in another context so that what destroys a person turns into his resource and new events.
- In SM responsibility is returned to the client. We look for the meaning of the strategy he has learned, not for who is to blame\whose feelings we are carrying\whose place we are standing in. That is, the client starts out from the position “I created this”. Our task is to find out why, and show it to him, in order to start creating something new.
- If the work is done with a goal, we proceed from the idea that for some reasons the client is now unconsciously choosing not to achieve this goal. That is, if the request is “I want to get married”, we will look at “me and loneliness”; if “I want money” – “me and poverty”.
- People are drawn to each other by states. Whoever has, say, aggression among their basic emotions, especially suppressed aggression, will certainly find someone who will express it, until they get into contact with it themselves.
- The system develops through contact with other states. If two people meet with basic states one of which coincides, for example “fear – superiority” and “fear – interest”, they will make an excellent couple or friendship. A tie needs a point of contact, and we find it.
- If the system is closed (the states in the couple are the same), a child will most likely not come into it (there is nowhere to develop). Also, if both have the same states, sooner or later one of them “disappears”. Two identical objects cannot occupy the same place in space.
- The more emotions we have free access to without “getting stuck” in any one of them, the more opportunities there are for the system to develop and for managing our own life.
Led by: Natalia Valitskaya
Address:
Kyiv, 58/2A Artema St
Registration: liogrita@gmail.com
+380963377199
